The Local Drunk - Happy Hour Newsletter



Subj: Once upon a Happy Hour dreary, as I pondered drunk and bleary, over many quaint and curious, bottles of discounted beer.....

Ladies and Gentlepersons,

No frills tonight.  We're off to Yankee Doodle's.  Put on your Sunday-Go-To-Meeting duds because I have the camera, and everything you drink and break can and will be held against you on the internet.



Subj: Murder on the Happy Hour Express

Ladies and Gentlemen.  I'm thinking of putting together a slightly different happy hour in the next couple of weeks.  On a friday of course.  Please keep in mind that you can bring your own food and drink on the train.  Camille has a rechargeable blender for blended treats.  Or you can enjoy yourself in the Club Car.  This Happy Hour will pay for itself.  Murder.  Mystery.  Romance.  We get rooms in SB for the night.  How can we go wrong?

These fares are for Amtrack.
Fare Display

Total Fare: $44.00

Los Angeles-Union Station (CA) to Santa Barbara (CA) on Friday (5/25/01)
783 Los Angeles-Union Station, CA Santa Barbara, CA 5/25/01
Unreserved Coach Seat -- Seat not guaranteed
Santa Barbara (CA) to Los Angeles-Union Station (CA) on Sunday (5/27/01)
784 Santa Barbara, CA Los Angeles-Union Station, CA 5/27/01
Unreserved Coach Seat -- Seat not guaranteed

Passenger Name Passenger Type
Mr Happy Hour Adult



Subj: How about a cold one?

After a tour of Europe I'm back for an official Happy Hour.  Teasers.  After work or as early as possible.  I rode my bike today so don't let me drink too much.

Included below are a few pictures to give you the gist of my trip.



Subj: Beer in Antwerp



Subj: Powerful thirst

After drinking every day for over 2 weeks I really need a beer tonight.  Yankees after work.



Subj: Re: Page 2 from Holland

What have you done to my good old drinking buddy from ASU? 

He lags behing after four or five beers, stops drinking early and is no longer interested in all nighters (except on queen's night). 

But he still has his desire to try new beers (such as Lucifer, Quilotinne and Cross-eyed Ox) and his humor. And more importantly, his temper still flares and he still starts hitting people when told "Keith, get that guy".

So, keep taking care of him and feed him beer.



Subj: Page 2 from Holland

Hey Kids,

I assume we finally traded.  Cool.  Glad to see we're raking it in. 

Not too much new.  Toured some of Belgium.  Climbed up a huge bell tower and got shit upon by what must have been a pteradactyl judging by the extent of the carnage.  Andy, the camera was half covered, and I was splattered on my jacket hands, and face.  Disgusting. 
Heading to England tomorrow.  Have drunk or drank every day for a week.  Wish me luck on week two. 





Subect: Happy Hour without Keith?...we CAN do it!

Hey guys - who says we can't party just coz Mr. Hemstreet is having a blast in Europe.   We are all still here and still working our buttocks I say, we go to Happy Hour without him!.  Meet at Yankee Doodle's, it's a beautiful day, we can sit in the patio....see ya'll there. 



Subject: Greetings from Holland

Arrived 8am Holland time 11 pm L.A. time.  Managed to stay awake all day and into the night.  Felt oddly reinvigorated by an old friend named beer.

Day 2 - Konninginnenacht - Queens Day Eve - went and had a little dinner and the worst Sangria ever and headed into downtown Utrecht.  Streets and canals absolutely packed.  A pack of Morrocans pickpockets Ian.  I am told to grab one which I did.  Reached deep into my profanity well and screamed at this bastard who I thought was going to die of fright.  Bastard hits me and chips my tooth which makes me beat on him with much zeal.  Ian's friends pull me off.  Ian drags one to the police station where we spend about an hour.  Had a great time.  I'm told ''tomorrow night will be crazy.''  We get to bed at 6:30 am.  It is light out.

Day 3 - Konninginnedag - Almost all trains into Amsterdam are shut down because people have decided to pull the emergency brakes on the trains.  Once the trains stop, people pour out of the trains onto the tracks, and all of the other trains are stopped to save these fools.  We take alternative means.  Amsterdam is packed.  Koffieshops (pot bars), red light district, everything is a zoo.  Beer flows at stands, and urine flows in the streets.  I have a giant orange inflatable crown.  We are still dead from the day before so we decide to head back a little early.  Almost no trains were running.  30 minutes after our train left, the station was so crowded that people were being pushed onto the tracks.  All trains were stopped.  The station doors were locked, and the people who were locked out, and the people who were locked in started rioting.  The police used much tear gas.  People ended up sleeping all night in the station waiting for trains.  We missed the fun.

Day 4 - Slept a lot.  Ate a lot.  Drank in many cool little bars and former castles.

Tomorrow its off to Belgium for 2 days.  Pictures will follow
Sorry I'm missing happy hour.  I am staying practice though.  Have heard about ''Tito'' on the radio several times.  Pretty cool.

The Editor



Subject: Re: Happy Hour yesterday and tomorrow

Don't anyone worry. We'll have Keith and Anna under the table on Belgian beers in no time. All this big talk from someone who learned to drink with watery American beers, in a place where last call is at 12:59 pm. Shit, we don't even go out until that time.

Tell you a secret: last year in the Bahamas, Keith couldn't keep up the pace either........

As Dennis blastst off, we'll make sure Keith is blasting off in the Amsterdam red light district.

cheers, Ian



Subject: Happy Hour yesterday and tomorrow


First things first.  For those of you who missed last week's Friday happy hour, I weep.  That one has taken its place in the Pantheon of Happy Hour Greats.  It rivals the Banana Republic Grand Opening crashing happy hour, and the 100 proof vodka Reggae on the Pier happy hour.  Just mention it to any of the die hards who made it to the full show, and they will laugh.  It had everything required.  It started at Marix with nice atmosphere, and good happy hour drinks and food.  With a firm foundation poured, everyone then took various circuitous paths to get party supplies and loved ones and finally arrived at Andy's.  As the rain from a surprise storm came pouring from the sky, and the party moved to the jacuzzi, the evening turned into The Perfect Happy Hour.  There was lots of booze, lots of bubbles, tons of rain, flashes of flesh, a hastily chosen bathing suit from Ross, borrowed underwear, a half dozen gin and tonics in the jacuzzi, Champagne guzzling, an unconscious guy in a "Heff" robe, tidal waves flooding the patio, and someone puking in the alley.  After a noble drunk cleaning effort, all that was left the next morning was a half filled jacuzzi with a head on it, and a pair of underwear (Please contact Andy to claim the underwear.  Please be aware that you will have to describe them before they are turned over to you.)  I'm out of breath from just describing the fiesta.  You should have been there.  And if you were, you know that happy hour persistance pays off. 

Next item. 

I'm going on a super secret mission.  While Dennis is being blasted into space atop a flaming cylinder of explosives, and as he gracefully floats around Earth to the theme music of "2001 A Space Odyssey," I'll be his man in Amsterdam. Ana and I are going to Holland and England for 2 weeks.  I'm going to have 14 Happy Hours in a row.  Eek.  I stole Andy's digital camera and may send pictures of myself decaying over the course of the fiasco.  A Portrait of Dorian Gray's liver.  April 30 is the queen's birthday there and I plan to be dressed in orange from head to toe as I teach the cheese heads how to drink.  Wish me luck.  The next installment will be in about 3 weeks.



Subject: Tequila

Happy Hour on Friday.  Change of pace.  Change of location.  Marix.  Casual Mexican joint near PCH towards the Pallisades.  See map below.  It's close.

After happy hour we will be raiding Andy's place for more cocktails, and Brittney Spears videos on his giant TV.
His address is 827 Haverford St, and the map to get there from Marix is below.

Estimated driving time according to Yahoo is 3 minutes from Wilshire to Marix, and 4 minutes from Marix to Andy's.  Please allow an extra minute in case of traffic.



Subject: Fly me to the bar

Happy Hour time again.  Yankee's.  After work.
The resident analysts have determined this could be a good one based on the following fundamental and technical factors:

1.  Friday is a day off for the cash-alt world.  (the markets are closed for a truly good friday)

2.  Friday is pay day ( an even gooder friday)

3.  All form of boss is out of the country (Mike in Italy and Dennis in Russia)

4.  The needle on the Camille-Ride-O-Meter is tilted toward heavy consumption (Camille has made plans to leave her car at home and has arranged for alternative transportation in anticipation of consumption)

FLY ME TO THE MOON...........



Subject: Now yous can't leave

Back to the basics Baby!  King's Head.  5 o' the clock or better.



Subject: Thursday at last, Thursday at last

The Editor, after reviewing the happy hour opportunities in the Virgin Islands, is sorry to be back.  I have one word for you; $1 Red Stripes.  Mixed drinks in volcanoes and fish bowls the size of your head.  Sun, surf, perfect weather....................  Forgive my raving.  And on to the only thing that makes my life worth living.  Happy Hour.

Thursday.  14 Below (corner of 14th and Santa Monica).  5pm or as early as possible.  The usuals will of course be there by 5:15.  And as always, if you beat Andy there, you drink on him.



Subject: Do you have to ask?

Tomorrow is the closest Happy Hour to St. Patty's day.  You are therefore required, by official decree, to drink.  The festivities will be at Toppers.  2nd Street just north of Wilshire in Santa Monica.  Top of the Huntley Hotel.

For the new people who aren't familiar with the Rules of Happy Hour, here they are:

Rule #1 of Happy Hour, you do not miss Happy Hour.

Rule #2 of Happy Hour, you do not miss Happy Hour.

Rule #3 of Happy Hour, whether this is your 1st Happy Hour or your 50th Happy Hour, YOU DRINK!




Subject: test

This is a test of the Emergency Happy Hour System.  This is only a test.  If this had been an actual Happy Hour Alert, this message would have contained information about an impending Happy Hour.  In this case, follow the instructions to the letter.  Do not deviate.

We would like the welcome two new members to our Happy Hour community.  Morten Boyd who you all know through many drunken adventures with Andy Weber.  Sunny Ommaney who some of you might know from UCSB.  She graduated about 1.5 years ago with an econ degree and is now living in our Happy Hour zone.

Marc Mische is still in Brazil this week studying the coriolis effect on somersaults, prat falls, and toilet flushes.  We sincerely hope he hasn't been used or abused by the locals in any way that he might find displeasing.

The editor went to see Ozomatli, the band that Chris is associated with.  Chris' cousin Anthony, who has attended several of our HHs, is an integral part of this talented band.  Excellent show.  Huge horn and percussion section.  Huge crowd.  Much dancing and sweating.  See, or talk to Chris at the next HH.

Stay tuned for any additional news.

the editor



Subject: happy hour redux

btw  Lets all give a warm welcome to Kevin's guests [Shana & Denise].  He has requested that noone head butt them.



Subject: happy hour

Thursday.  14 Below (corner of Santa Monica and 14th for you newbies).  Same bat time.



Subject: Party tomorrow

Sorry for the last minute notice, I just realized that it's my buddy's birthday.

At my place, around 8:30.  Call me if you need directions.



Subject: Paul's house

Paul has offered his place as a post party location.  We all appreciate his sacrificing his home in the name of partying.  Bring booze.

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